Nesting and Resting

I think the nesting instinct has started to kick in.

Which is good, because I just noticed that my counter is down to 107 days... WTF... I'm almost in the single digits already!!!

My very first load of baby laundry is in the washing machine as I type this. Actually, it may be ready for the dryer, I'm going to go check...

Yep. In the dryer now, new load in the washer.

I've started to accumulate so much stuff, and I've just been piling it up, and I decided it was time to wash it, put it in bins, and store it properly. I bought a 3-pack of 17-gallon plastic storage bins at B.J's, so I labeled them NB-6mo, 6-12mo, and 12mo+. We'll see how those ranges work out once I actually start putting things in the bins.

So there I was in the laundry room, a full load in the washer, all ready with my Tid.e Free and Clear (or whatever it's called), and I thought... Do you use fabric softener with baby clothes? A quick text to a friend with a toddler (and a quick check on google), and I knew the answer was no. Back in the laundry room, and I thought... Cold water? Warm? Hot? Another text to my friend, another google search. I was completely overthinking it, and I knew it. Friend didn't respond right away, google had mixed reviews, so I went with warm.

Seriously? This nesting stuff ain't easy!

Plus... How are you supposed to nest and rest simultaneously?!? I was out earlier, on my feet for a while, and they hurt by the time I headed home. I'm trying to figure out if I've started to have any ankle swelling yet. Maybe some, but nothing too terrible, I don't think. But my feet definitely hurt, and I was ready to sit down and put them up.

But then I had this weird urge to do the laundry. WTF?

And I was resting, with my feet up, eating ice cream (it was actually frozen yogurt, but with crushed Thin Mints and Hershey's syrup on top!), and my mom called. While we were chatting, I finished the ice cream, and got up and opened up two boxes filled with pictures and picture albums that I'd had shipped from my parents' house. I need to go through it all, figure out which pictures I want to keep and which I can throw away, which pictures that are currently in shoeboxes are doubles (or triples - my dad used to make doubles or triples of pictures back when you had to use film and actually have the pictures developed!) of ones I already have in albums and can therefore be tossed, etc. And I have an empty scrapbook to put mementos in - pictures, notes, cards, etc. from my childhood that I decided to keep when cleaning out my room in my parents' house.

So I started going through pictures and albums and working on that project. Which I didn't get far into, and of course it's all still sitting out on the dining room table. I feel like I've just been flitting around, starting one project and then another, not finishing anything, and in between, sitting down and putting my feet up.

It's like I can't decide if I need/want to be nesting or resting.

I think part of the problem is I'm in a bad mood and I just want to get away from myself today. Which I obviously can't do. And it's leading to me being all teary and emotional. I've actually been fairly even-keeled emotionally lately (aside from the stuff with my brother, but come on, who wouldn't be emotional over that?!), but today... UGH. I am seriously annoying the crap out of myself!

And a part of that problem is that I'm completely stressed out because my dog currently has a medical issue that's led to issues with her going to doggie daycare when I'm at work, and costing a lot of money, and I'm having to figure out alternate doggie care for her because I can't leave her home all day alone when I'm gone for 13.5 hours at a stretch. And I absolutely hate what I'm having to do to care for her during this issue, and she's just such a sad sack, and I feel so bad for her, but I'm also getting frustrated because I'm doing everything the vets (yes, we've been to two in less than a week, an emergency one on Monday since it was a holiday in Massachusetts, and our regular one on Thursday, for a grand total of $375) have told me to do, and it's not working. And I just keep having this recurring thought that if I can't handle this, and I'm so stressed out by it, then what the hell am I doing having a child?!?

I feel like a dog-parent failure.

In a (large) nutshell... My dog has some kind of allergic reaction or contact dermatitis going on on her nose/snout. At least, that's what the vets think it is, but we may end up having to do a biopsy to look for an autoimmune issue if it doesn't clear up on antibiotics. I ended up having to take some time off of work on Friday because her doggie daycare guy thought she was getting worse and needed to go back to the vet sooner rather than later. And he didn't want to take her that day, so I had to figure out alternative doggie care for her so I could go to work. My sister could have helped if she chose to, but she didn't (which just pissed me off, because she knew I was desperate), and the pet sitter wasn't available. As a last ditch effort to avoid having to take the whole day off of work, I texted a friend who used to be my student at work, and she's a total sweetheart. She was free, and said she could come hang out with my dog Friday night if she could bring her boyfriend. I wasn't even going to be home, did I care if she brought her boyfriend?! Not at all! So, I ended up going into work a little over 4 hours late, but was there for almost 8. It was the best I could do.

I feel SO incredibly bad for my poor doggie.  But at the same time, I'm so frustrated that she's not letting her nose heal, and that it's getting worse. She keeps licking it at. How can I stop that?! And now she has some blister-looking things on her lip. I really don't know what else to do for her. I may take her back to the emergency vet tomorrow, which apparently won't cost anything because it's just a quick re-check. Just to see if she has any other suggestions...

But anyway, I've just been in such a bad mood today, and really just wanted to get away from myself. And I really think it has a lot to do with feeling so bad and so helpless with the dog situation. And work has been stressful and crazy the last couple of days, too, which hasn't helped.

But now, my dog has eaten and drank some water, gone out to pee, and come back inside without re-injuring her nose. I think the DIY job I did of making the cone collar longer than it was is helping keep her from rubbing her nose on things, so hopefully it'll actually start to heal (if only she'd stop licking it!).

And at least I'm sort of getting something accomplished on the baby front. Second load of laundry is in the dryer...