I Hesitate to Even Say it Out Loud (or put it in the title!)...

Sunday night we had dinner at my parents' house. My sister's birthday was Saturday, and she'd asked my mom to make her a birthday dinner party. Three of her friends were there, and my parents, Jordyn, and I, and we ate in the dining room. So it was kind of a thing. And so of course it got late - later than I usually keep Jordyn out, but while she was obviously tired, she was still in a pretty good mood and really hanging in there. I was going to change her diaper before we left, and my mom suggested I put her into pajamas, so that if she fell asleep in the car, I could just put her right into bed. I liked this idea - in theory - but that would mean she wouldn't be in her sleepsack and she wouldn't have had her bedtime bottle. But I did put her in pajamas, since I figured it would at least save me a step when we got home.

Sometimes, even when she's really, really tired, she doesn't fall asleep in the car (which I find weird, because she often falls asleep in the car when she's *not* as tired). I'll think she's asleep because she's quiet and still, but then when I go open the door to get her out, her eyes are open and she's just kind of in a daze, until she looks at me and smiles (usually). But of course this time she *did* fall asleep in the car. And so I didn't know what to do. She's still in the infant bucket carseat, so I carried her in, and then looked at her for a minute, trying to figure out what to do next. I figured she'd wake up when I took her out of the seat, because she always does. And then I figured she'd be wide awake and not want to go right back to sleep. I made her bedtime bottle before I took her out of the seat, figuring if she woke up, maybe going upstairs and giving her the bottle right away would help her fall right back to sleep.

But she didn't wake up when I took her out of the seat!

And she didn't wake up when I shifted her around a little bit to slip her arms through the holes in the sleepsack while I held her!

And she didn't wake up when I laid her down in her crib!

And she didn't wake up when I zipped up her sleepsack!

And so I stood there, incredulous, because this was the first time I've ever been able to transfer her like that, out of the carseat and into bed. I looked down at my beautiful sleeping baby, thinking, "well that was easy!". We completely skipped our bedtime routine, and she completely skipped her bedtime bottle (8 oz). So, as easy as that was, I figured I was in for a rough night, because she'd wake up starving at some point in the middle of it.

But she didn't wake up to eat in the middle of the night!
She slept until 6:50 Monday morning!!!

And then Monday night, she went to sleep around 8:20, I think, but then woke up at 11:30, exactly one hour after I'd gone to sleep. She seemed pretty miserable, and I think she has two teeth working their way down, so I gave her tylenol, and managed to get her back to sleep in her crib (as opposed to my bed). And then she slept pretty well, but only until about 6:15. At which point she didn't wake up, exactly, but she was restless and sort of crying/crying out in her sleep. She's been doing this lately, and I can't for the life of me figure out what's bothering her. I guess it could be her teeth, but she's been doing this even at times when I don't think she was teething. For a while I thought she was hungry, but that theory didn't seem to pan out, either. Maybe she's having bad dreams?? I don't know. But anyway, I scooped her up and brought her into my bed before she was really awake, and nursed her. She managed to settle down and fall back into a quiet sleep, and then we both slept in until 8:00! It was *wonderful*!

Today she did the restless sleep thing again around 6-6:15, and I tried to do the same thing - bring her into my bed and get her back to sleep (I'd worked last night, and gone to sleep at 1, so I'd only had five hours of sleep, and with another 12-hour workday until midnight ahead of me today). It didn't work. :( She woke up, and once she wakes up, it's all over until naptime. I was able to nap with her this morning for about an hour before I had to leave for work, but I'm pretty tired today.

But I'm certainly *not* complaining!! This is a far cry from where we were, sleep-wise, a few weeks (month or two?) ago. She's mostly sleeping through the night again, if with an earlier wake-up time (ugh), and I'm much lessed stress about sleep. Her naps are completely inconsistent, and depend on how her previous night was and what time she woke up that morning. So, there's no schedule. But that's mostly ok with me. It would be nice to know how much time I had, approximately, when she goes down for a nap, but it varies so much that you just never know. It could be 30 minutes, or it could be an hour and a half, or today she slept for 2 hours 45 minutes for the babysitter!

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If you're wondering why my brother wasn't at my sister's birthday dinner, or if you just wanted an update on my brother... He's in New York. He's manic - yes, again (he stopped doing ECT and also wasn't taking any meds) - and maybe a month ago took off and drove himself down to NY. My parents have a little one-bedroom apartment in the city, and he's staying there. We all have keys, and can use it when we want, as long as give notice so we don't all end up there at once. So that's where he is. My dad went down on the bus about five days after my brother, and tried to get him to come home. But he wanted nothing to do with that. So a few days later, my dad came back, and drove my brother's car home. So at least he doesn't have access to a car, although he said if he needs one he'll just buy another one. And then a week or so later, he got himself admitted to the hospital in NY. He was wreaking havoc in the apartment building, and people were complaining. He was being loud and obnoxious and apparently just annoying people. So one night he left with a bag, and told the doorman he was going to sleep outside. WTF?! You don't just go sleep outside in NYC, unless you're homeless! We didn't know where he was for a day or two, but then he finally called my mom back (we'd all been calling and texting him) when she was on a plane so he didn't reach her. When she called back the number he'd called from, it was Metropolitan Hospital in NYC. Turns out, he'd been in the lobby of a hotel, trying to check in, and the man at the counter realized something was up with him, and called the police. So he ended up admitted - his third pyschiatric hospitalization (in three different hospitals in two different states) since early February. My mom told me today that they've discharged him, but that he still sounds pretty manic to her. And he's not planning to come home, he wants to live in NY. And he managed to lose a bag with multiple ipads in it (don't ask - reckless spending is part of mania) between being discharged at the hospital and taking a bus back to the apartment, with a stop at a McDonalds. Lovely. I kind of wonder if I'll ever see my brother again, or if he'll ever be "normal" (ok, forget normal... just not manic!) again. I miss the guy he used to be. :(