It's very surreal. After vacillating so wildly between T42 and being one and done, and losing a lot of sleep over it, I finally decided to just "decide" to T42 and live with with it for a while and see how it felt. But then, suddenly, I started taking steps - I had my day 3 labs redrawn in May (which were fine), I called the midwife practice (where I do my IUIs) to see if there was anything I needed to do prior to starting to try (AKA any hoops I needed to jump through like the first time around!), and I started to track my cycles. At some point, I'd pretty much decided to start trying in September, but I never got a positive OPK last month. And then I thought I wasn't going to get one this month, either, and I started to worry.
But then this morning - right on schedule, it turns out - I got a positive! And then of course I was stupid and tested again an hour or two later and got a negative, and then another negative, and then I was sure I was going to end up wasting a vial of sperm (and I only have/had five vials of Jordyn's donor and won't be able to get more) if I had an IUI today. I ended up talking to both the Clearblue Easy helpline and the midwife who was working today, and both thought I should go with the first, positive OPK since it was with first morning urine (more concentrated). I was scheduled to go in, and I almost cancelled at the last minute, but for whatever reason, I went in. Maybe I just needed to get started already, or maybe I was subconsciously trying to sabotage myself (do I REALLY want to be T42???), but I think I'm hoping it works. I think. :)
*****
Earlier in the day, Jordyn had a class at our temple, and then I was volunteering (and shopping) at a big rummage sale held by the temple's Sisterhood. My dad had taken Jordyn to a playground and to lunch, and then she was hanging around at the sale "helping". My dad took her for a walk at one point, since my mom, sister, and I were all volunteering at the sale. Eventually, my dad left, and Jordyn wanted to go with him, and I was kinda hoping he would take her so I wouldn't have to bring her with me to my IUI. But in the end, she was with me. Ah, the juggling begins!
In the car, Jordyn asked where we were going. I guess I could've just said "to the doctor" or something, but for some reason, I told her what we were going to do ("try to make a baby"), and we reviewed how that works... You need an egg from a woman and seeds from a man, and the midwife was going to put the seeds into my uterus (she learned that word today) and my egg and the seeds would try to find each other and if they did, a baby might start to grow. I told her that that's how she started to grow, too, and I think it may have blown her mind a little bit. I have a feeling that someday, she's going to hear about the birds and the bees from some kid at school, and they'll say that that's how babies are made, and Jordyn's going to think the kid is full of shit, and explain the "real" way babies are made - egg, seeds, and a midwife!
The funniest part of today by far: We pulled into the parking lot at the building where the midwives office is located. There's a kid at the entrance handing out tickets when you enter and taking money to pay for parking when you leave. Jordyn and I had just been reviewing how babies are made in the car, so when she saw the guy (probably college-age or so), she asked, "Is that the man where you get the seeds?". HA! Well, I guess I hadn't explained the part about where the seeds come from well enough - I'd just said you need seeds from a man.
Of course, shortly after arriving at the office, Jordyn informed me that she needed to poop. I'd already gone to the bathroom, and she'd said she didn't need to go, so back to the bathroom we went. She, of course, wanted "pwivacy", so I stood in the hall while she sat on the toilet with a diaper on (ugh). The nurse weighed me right across the hall, and asked me some questions about things like date of my last period, allergies to medication, etc. I could hear Jordyn talking to her imaginary friends (kids from school, I think) through the door to the bathroom while she sat on the toilet. Thankfully, the nurse understood; she has a 4-year-old son.
Off to the room we went after that, and Jordyn sat in a chair next to me as I first sat on the table while we waited for the midwife, and then while I lay down with my feet in the stirrups for the IUI. Phyllis was the midwife on today, and she's older and has many years of experience. I got the feeling this wasn't the first time someone has brought their child in for an IUI, as she explained to Jordyn that this is something that it's only ok for doctors to do, and said she was "looking for the baby door" or something like that. Jordyn didn't have a front row seat; she was next to me so all she saw was the sheet covering my lower body.
Earlier in the day, Jordyn had a class at our temple, and then I was volunteering (and shopping) at a big rummage sale held by the temple's Sisterhood. My dad had taken Jordyn to a playground and to lunch, and then she was hanging around at the sale "helping". My dad took her for a walk at one point, since my mom, sister, and I were all volunteering at the sale. Eventually, my dad left, and Jordyn wanted to go with him, and I was kinda hoping he would take her so I wouldn't have to bring her with me to my IUI. But in the end, she was with me. Ah, the juggling begins!
In the car, Jordyn asked where we were going. I guess I could've just said "to the doctor" or something, but for some reason, I told her what we were going to do ("try to make a baby"), and we reviewed how that works... You need an egg from a woman and seeds from a man, and the midwife was going to put the seeds into my uterus (she learned that word today) and my egg and the seeds would try to find each other and if they did, a baby might start to grow. I told her that that's how she started to grow, too, and I think it may have blown her mind a little bit. I have a feeling that someday, she's going to hear about the birds and the bees from some kid at school, and they'll say that that's how babies are made, and Jordyn's going to think the kid is full of shit, and explain the "real" way babies are made - egg, seeds, and a midwife!
The funniest part of today by far: We pulled into the parking lot at the building where the midwives office is located. There's a kid at the entrance handing out tickets when you enter and taking money to pay for parking when you leave. Jordyn and I had just been reviewing how babies are made in the car, so when she saw the guy (probably college-age or so), she asked, "Is that the man where you get the seeds?". HA! Well, I guess I hadn't explained the part about where the seeds come from well enough - I'd just said you need seeds from a man.
Of course, shortly after arriving at the office, Jordyn informed me that she needed to poop. I'd already gone to the bathroom, and she'd said she didn't need to go, so back to the bathroom we went. She, of course, wanted "pwivacy", so I stood in the hall while she sat on the toilet with a diaper on (ugh). The nurse weighed me right across the hall, and asked me some questions about things like date of my last period, allergies to medication, etc. I could hear Jordyn talking to her imaginary friends (kids from school, I think) through the door to the bathroom while she sat on the toilet. Thankfully, the nurse understood; she has a 4-year-old son.
Off to the room we went after that, and Jordyn sat in a chair next to me as I first sat on the table while we waited for the midwife, and then while I lay down with my feet in the stirrups for the IUI. Phyllis was the midwife on today, and she's older and has many years of experience. I got the feeling this wasn't the first time someone has brought their child in for an IUI, as she explained to Jordyn that this is something that it's only ok for doctors to do, and said she was "looking for the baby door" or something like that. Jordyn didn't have a front row seat; she was next to me so all she saw was the sheet covering my lower body.
On the phone earlier, I'd asked the midwife about EWCM, since I'd had a little, but not much. She'd suggested maybe I should come in tomorrow, since I may not ovulate until then. But I'm pretty sure when I conceived Jordyn I had the IUI on the same day as the positive OPK. Plus, I work tomorrow and I was off today, not that that's a good reason to do an IUI early! This is way TMI, but when she put the speculum in and could view my cervix, Phyllis said, "There's tons of mucus, tons! It's a good thing you came in!". I'd already decided there was little chance of this IUI working, but when she said that, I reconsidered. I know it's only my first one, but considering I'm one of the incredibly lucky ones who only needed one unmedicated IUI to conceive Jordyn, you never know. So, here's hoping!
Phyllis had a bit of a hard time getting my cervix lined up so that she could get the catheter through it, but she knew a couple of tricks and the second one worked like a charm. First, she had me press down hard just above my pubic bone/hairline and then pull up towards my chin. I guess that can shift the bladder and/or uterus in a way that sometimes helps. It didn't, though, so then she had me make fists with both hands and put them under my butt to raise it higher, and that worked right away. Who knew?
After the IUI, I lay there for about 15 minutes before getting up. Phyllis suggested it, but said it really shouldn't matter since she put the sperm high up. I have to check, but I'm pretty sure the sperm for this IUI came from the same, um, "batch" as the IUI that led to Jordyn. I think the dates on the vials are the same, but I have to double check Jordyn's vial (I kept both of them). While I was lying there and Jordyn was reading books, she all of a sudden put her hand on my belly, smiled, and asked, "Is it working?" (she really wants to be a big sister!). Oh, if only I could've already known!!
And so the waiting begins...
Phyllis had a bit of a hard time getting my cervix lined up so that she could get the catheter through it, but she knew a couple of tricks and the second one worked like a charm. First, she had me press down hard just above my pubic bone/hairline and then pull up towards my chin. I guess that can shift the bladder and/or uterus in a way that sometimes helps. It didn't, though, so then she had me make fists with both hands and put them under my butt to raise it higher, and that worked right away. Who knew?
After the IUI, I lay there for about 15 minutes before getting up. Phyllis suggested it, but said it really shouldn't matter since she put the sperm high up. I have to check, but I'm pretty sure the sperm for this IUI came from the same, um, "batch" as the IUI that led to Jordyn. I think the dates on the vials are the same, but I have to double check Jordyn's vial (I kept both of them). While I was lying there and Jordyn was reading books, she all of a sudden put her hand on my belly, smiled, and asked, "Is it working?" (she really wants to be a big sister!). Oh, if only I could've already known!!
And so the waiting begins...
It's still just so surreal that I even had an IUI today. I feel like maybe it never happened at all, and it was just a dream. Except it wasn't.
Congrats! I'm excited for you. :) Sounds like there were some positive signs and I'm crossing fingers for you over here. (Jordan's reactions were super cute!)
ReplyDeleteAn exciting time! I hope the btw goes quickly!
ReplyDeleteSuper exciting! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely a surreal experience to have your older child with you as you are trying to conceive another. That moment sticks in my mind for sure. Also, two weeks later waiting in line at the dollar store with my screaming toddler holding ten pregnancy tests. By far the most ghetto moment of my life.
Fingers crossed for you!
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