Update on My Job and Jordyn's School

I've been in my new job, and Jordyn's been in her school, for just over a month now. Things seem to be going pretty well now, more or less.

I'll be honest - the beginning was rocky. The nurse manager on my new unit (dialysis) was being a bitch, basically making some decisions and doing some things that seemed just for the power trip. I was really frustrated, didn't feel very welcomed (at least by her), and was starting to regret having made the change. I think part of the problem was that it was a big adjustment going from where I was (the ED) to dialysis. The two areas couldn't be more opposite, and my roles within them couldn't be more different. It's quite a change going from a fast-paced environment with fifty-something beds to a slow-paced environment with seven beds! Don't let "slow-paced" fool you, though - I'm plenty busy, just in a completely different way than I used to be. The things I do, the way I manage my time, basically everything is completely different, and in the beginning I felt like my head just didn't work the way it needed to for this new position.

But I'm starting to get the hang of it, things with the nurse manager have settled down, and the unit and population are growing on me. I do miss parts of my job in the ED, but I knew that was going to happen, so I'm not surprised. I definitely like the hours of the new job, although not so much the commute. I'm completely stressed out about the financial piece, which I also knew to expect, since I went down to 20 hours/week (part time), and that meant a huge increase in what I pay for benefits, in addition to the pay cut. It was a ridiculous move financially, but as I think I've said before, if there's anything I've learned from working with sick kids, it's that you really do have to make the most of every moment and every day. So I'm spending more time with Jordyn while she's young, and I'll go back to working full time when she's in school full time. That doesn't take into account the fact that I really want to have a second child, of course, but I'll just have to figure that out if/when the time comes. Carpe Diem!

As for Jordyn's school, well... It's going pretty well. She no longer cries hysterically when I leave in the morning, in fact, more and more often she doesn't cry at all. When she does, it's very brief. I think she has fun there, and I feel good about her safety and all that. There are just a few things that have been bothering me, and I keep waiting from them to fade, but that doesn't seem to be happening. And one is new, so that one certainly isn't fading.

First, it bothers me that the M (the head caregiver/teacher) doesn't have books within reach for the kids during free play time. She has books, but they're all up on a high shelf, and she takes some out to read to the kids, and then puts them away. I don't understand why she doesn't have any books on a low shelf for the kids to be able to "read" anytime they want. Jordyn loves books, and I feel pretty strongly about fostering a love of reading and literacy, so I'd really like her to be able to access books at will. I was a big reader growing up, and we read a lot at home, so I know she's getting it here, but I feel like it should be happening at school, too. At the beginning, I mentioned something to M about putting a few books on a low shelf, and she said something about the kids hitting each other with them. Ok... but couldn't they hit each other with toys, too? Plus, why not teach the kids appropriate ways to interact with each other, and appropriate ways to use the books, and not just put them all up on a high shelf? I'm considering bringing in a little basket of books as a belated Christmas present for the school when Jordyn goes back after break (today was her last day before they're closed until January 2nd). Is that too passive aggressive, though??

I also felt like they didn't take the kids outside enough back when the weather was nicer. Jordyn started in mid-November, before it got really cold. There were plenty of days when the weather was mild enough that with jackets on, they really could have gone outside, but they didn't. Jordyn loves being outside, so I know she would have enjoyed it. I once asked if they'd gone out that day, and M said they had, but for some reason I'm still not totally convinced they actually did. And if they did, I think that may have been the only day they went outside before it got really cold, and now there's snow all over the place. So, this issue has kind of faded, at least for now, because now it really probably is too cold and snowy for them to take the kids outside.

And now, recently, I'm bothered by the way M has handled the holidays. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. She knows full well that Jordyn is Jewish and that she celebrates Hanukkah and not Christmas. Yet, the room is totally decorated for Christmas, and there was not a single Hanukkah thing during Hanukkah (or ever). She has each kid's name and birthdate on big homemade paper ornaments on the wall - she could have made a dreidel shape for Jordyn. She has a big Christmas tree up in the room - she could have put out a menorah, as well (even if it were down already, as it should be, since Hanukkah is over - but there was never one). She's doing this whole thing with "elf on a shelf" - I'm not too bothered by this as Jordyn's too young to really get it anyway, but still.

This morning, when I dropped Jordyn off, M said something about sending her home with her present today, and also that she'd made "reindeer food" to send home with each kid, but asked if I wanted any since she knows we "don't do that". I wasn't completely sure what it was, to be honest, so I said something about maybe send it, and I'll figure it out or decide later. I had absolutely no problem that she asked, though; I just wish she'd asked about other things... She took a picture of each kid, printed it out, and glued it onto a foam ornament shape that says "Jordyn" and "2013". It's clearly a Christmas tree ornament meant to hang on a Christmas tree! Why did M ask me about the reindeer food and not about the ornament?? I would have said to maybe just put Jordyn's picture on a plain piece of paper. I also would have requested that the picture not be taken in front of the Christmas tree with her holding a stuffed Santa Claus! They also did a cute paper plate craft where she dipped the kids' feet in green paint and made footprints on the plate, and then they added the berries and leaves and wrote "Mistletoes", also with the year and "love, Jordyn" on it. She could have just had Jordyn do the footprints and not made it into mistletoe.

Don't get me wrong - I have absolutely nothing whatsoever against Christmas!! I just would have preferred Jordyn not to do the Christmas crafts, and I think M could have easily adapted the activities so that she would have participated, but in a slightly different way or with a slightly different finished product. I still don't get why she was concerned about the reindeer food, but didn't even ask about these other things. It kills me, too, because the picture of Jordyn on the ornament is actually a really good picture of her, but it's in front of a Christmas tree and with her holding Santa, so it's not an ideal picture for me to display. I also just wish there had been some sort of token Hanukkah decoration or something. I mean, like how in kindergarden the kids sing one Hanukkah song in the midst of all the Christmas carols in the holiday show for parents. I realize it's not public school, so there's no separation of church and state, and it's not even a center where chances are there could be at least one other Jewish child, or maybe some sort of board of directors or something that would ensure a little balance. There are no rules or oversight for these things at home daycares. But is Jordyn the first Jewish child M has had in 21 years of operating her daycare? It just seems to me that she could have been a little more accommodating.

But otherwise... I think Jordyn likes M, and I do too, mostly. I like S and J, the two assistants (S is M's daughter's, there three days a week, and J is there two). I think Jordyn has fun, and I think she fits in well with the other kids. I think she gets plenty of attention, plenty of food, and has become a part of things there. She still doesn't like it when I drop her off, and she clings to me at drop off and pick up, but she'll also go willingly to M. She'll say bye, blow kisses, etc. when we're leaving. She seems happy, and she's definitely tired at the end of the day. The reports are always good - she eats well, sleeps well, is a good listener, is just overdoing doing well. Even though there are a few things I don't love, I'm not planning to make a change. I'm not going to do that to Jordyn. Plus, I'm hoping to move in the spring/summer (locally), and I'll start working on where to send her to preschool once I know where we'll be living. For now, this place is very convenient, and is as affordable as I think I'll find. I know no place will be perfect, and since she seems happy and I have no safety concerns, it doesn't seem like moving her would be in anyone's best interest.

Overall, things seem to be moving in the right direction. We both seem to be adjusting to our new places and new routines. And we have plenty of time to spend together, which has been really nice.

Jordyn's Christmas crafts from school, that I wish had been adapted to be non-Christmas.