...no, not with a man. With my daughter. :)
Ok, so I've loved Jordyn from the start. And our bond has been getting stronger, I think, as time has gone on.
But yesterday. OMG. All of a sudden, I just felt such an absolutely overwhelming feeling of being totally, completely, head-over-heels IN LOVE with my daughter. I actually got tears in my eyes. It was crazy. I don't know what it was. But it was amazing. It's not like I didn't love her before, but something "clicked", I guess, and it was just cemented and finalized, or something.
Maybe it's because she's gotten so much more alert and aware and responsive. She smiles a ton now, and almost giggles sometimes. Or maybe it's because we got home yesterday from the camp where I volunteer with families who have a child with a brain tumor. It was my first time at camp since becoming a mother, so maybe it hit home in a way it couldn't before, of realizing how absolutely impossibly difficult it would be to have my child diagnosed with cancer or to die. I've learned both from this camp and from my work as a child li.fe specialist that it's so important to make the most of every day, take advantage of opportunities, not to put things off, and to really try to live by the adage "carpe diem" as much as possible. Because you just never know when things may change, or how much time you have left, or your child does.
So maybe it was that. But whatever it was, it was amazing. I just felt such an intense LOVE for Jordyn in a way I hadn't before, an intensified version of how much I already loved her.
Jordyn is an adorable little flower!!! (Oh, and I get it about the whole looking at your baby and tearing up because they are so wonderful thing!)
ReplyDeleteOh, she's gorgeous! i'm so happy you decided to post a photo!
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry about the breastfeeding. i think there's a lot of hormonal/biological stuff going on in these early weeks... a strong physical desire for that bond, even if intellectually you know she will be fine either way.
it sounds like you have the best of both worlds! you can nurse as often as you want but not pump and not worry about her weight. wonderful!
I'll have to drop in tomorrow to catch up on these posts. I was glancing through real quick and saw the cutest little flower and just had to tell you--"How stinkin' adorable!!!"
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