Babysitter Blues

I think I may have mentioned that Jordyn's first babysitter, J, left to go to school in Seattle. So, she's gone, and we miss her. I always knew she was good, but in retrospect - she was great. When I arrived home on her last night sitting, there was an electronic picture frame sitting on the coffee table facing me as I walked in the door. On it was a slideshow of about 20 or so pictures that J had taken throughout her time with Jordyn. Looking at the pictures, it was clear that Jordyn really liked and felt comfortable with J, and that J truly enjoyed spending time with Jordyn. I could tell they'd had some fun times together. A few days before J's last day, I'd mentioned wanting to get a couple of pictures of the two of them together, and J took it not one but a few steps beyond that - purchasing the picture frame for me and loading it up with the pictures (and she's since emailed me a bunch more pics that she hadn't included in the slide show). I wasn't sure what to do for a consistent babysitter (for about 5 months) on her last day, and all I'd gotten her was a card, so I kind of felt bad.

I'd been looking for a replacement sitter (on sittercity, same place I'd found J), and I was feeling pressure to find someone and get her up and running, because my parents were supposed to go out of town for two full weeks just a few days after J's last day. I was going to be childcare-less if I wasn't careful! I went with the third person I interviewed (I was interested in the second one, but she didn't seem all that interested in us), A, and had her come spend some time with Jordyn and me while I was home, so I could orient her to the house, Jordyn's routines, etc. She's able and willing to be *very* flexible, which is a must, since my work schedule is so consistently inconsistent. She has experience with children, although mostly preschool age and up. She looks amazing on paper.

But I don't like her.

And I can't really put my finger on why. I mean, there are no major red flags - it's not like I'm worried she's going to hurt Jordyn or anything. She's nice, she means well... but I don't know, theres just *something* that I don't like.

She's kinda weird. Is that a good enough reason to not want to continue to use a babysitter?? She's just sort of odd, or socially awkward, or maybe both. And I don't want Jordyn to pick up her eccentricities. I feel like we don't communicate well, but honestly, I don't think it's me. I think she probably communicates the same way with everyone, at least people who aren't her family or close friends. It's like she can't relax and just be herself. A couple of people have asked me if she's "Aspergers-y", and, well, maybe, but I don't think that's quite it. She's socially awkward, but not really in an Aspergers-y kind of way, if that makes any sense. And she has this way of saying "mm hmm" all the time when I'm talking to her, and it drives me CRAZY. She also doesn't have that natural way of interacting with a baby that some people do. Do you know what I mean? It's like, if she didn't have the experience with babies but it came naturally to her, that would be one thing. But it just doesn't seem like it does come naturally. Her references were great (although one never got back to me at all, but I also never followed up), but one of them said she's kind of shy and quiet with adults, but that she really opens up and shines when she's with children. That may be the case with older kids, but I'm just not seeing it with Jordyn. Or maybe it happens when I'm not there, I don't know. The same reference, I think, also said she was a great catch as a babysitter.

 So, I think I just don't click with her. If I don't "click" with someone, is that a good enough reason to not want my child spending a lot of time with that person?? As time is going on, I'm liking A less and less, and she's annoying me more and more. I was hoping my dislike of her would fade once I got to know her a little more and she and Jordyn bonded, but it's getting worse, not better.

So I want to replace her. I've already started looking, and I have one potential person so far. We met the other day, and she's young, but seems really good. I'm hoping to have her come back for a little orientation and then start sitting, but I messaged her a day or two through sittercity and haven't heard back. I hope she's still interested!

What's causing me to lose sleep, though, is how, exactly, to go about letting A go. Do I just tell her I feel like we're not a good fit?? But what if she asks why? It's so hard to explain, and I can't exactly tell her I think she's weird! My mom said I could use her and my dad as an excuse, and just say that my parents have been pressuring me to let them do all the childcare so they can spend more time with their granddaughter. But that's an outright lie, and I kind of feel bad about that. I also don't want to teach Jordyn to lie to get out of a difficult/sticky situation. Not that she'd be so aware of this particular situation, but I'm really trying to start modeling the behavior I want her to learn, and it just seems sort of wrong to totally lie to A. I could combine those two things, and tell her I haven't been feeling like we're a good fit, and also that my parents have been wanting to have Jordyn more, so I'm going to give that a try. That sort of sounds the best to me, because at least it's only a half-lie! So, what should I do?? I'm so not good at this type of thing, and it makes me really uncomfortable to have to, in essence, fire someone.

And of course my parents ended up not going on their trip (because of what's been going on with my brother), so it turns out I didn't have to rush into hiring someone in the first place. Of course. But at least if I can handle having A sit a few more times until I get someone new figured out, I won't have to spend 3 nights a week at my parents' house until then.

Thoughts? What would you do?