Was anyone else's baby up ALL NIGHT LONG last night? It could have been that it was my first day back to work after vacation (and basically not leaving Jordyn's side for 9 days), it could've been that it was a new babysitter's first day, it could've been that yesterday I started mixing in some whole milk with Jordyn's formula (I mean, could it? I have no idea), it could've been that the babysitter lied about how long and at what time her naps were (although I'd like to think that's not it), or it could've been something I haven't thought of yet, since I got home at 12:30am from a busy 12-hour workday to an awake baby, and spent the next almost FOUR solid hours trying to get her to sleep, and ended up with a grand total of about 4 hours of broken-up sleep all night long. Oh, and just for fun, had a bad dream (about Jordyn, of course) during the second of my two short chunks of sleep. WTF???
(well, at least I know what my "low" will be for our last group on Friday!) [the facilitator often has us talk about our highs and lows of the past week when we go around and introduce ourselves.]
I have no idea what this was all about. But she just WOULD NOT go to sleep. She wasn't in pain, she wasn't hungry, in fact, the only time she cried was when I put her in her crib and walked away, or when she woke up after falling asleep for literally no more than five minutes a couple of times. Once she fell asleep, and I finally had time to go back downstairs and put the icepacks from my lunchbox back in the freezer, and the leftover food in the fridge, and take my phone out of my purse to plug in for the night. And then she woke up. Once, when she was totally awake but I was totally frustrated, I put her in her crib and let her scream long enough for me to put on pajamas, brush my teeth, and wash my face - all as fast as I could. And once, when she was totally awake but I was totally frustrated, I put her in her crib and let her scream while I walked all the way downstairs (two flights) and outside to the top of the steps outside the front door to the house. And I stood there and cried, and took a few deep breaths, and then went back in to try again. Don't worry - my neighbors didn't see me and think I was a crazy person - it was 4am on a Tuesday morning. I also cried more than once while I was holding her, and rocking her, and singing to her, and trying desperately to get her to fall asleep.
She sure seemed to be tired. She'd yawn, she'd put her head against me, then pick it up and turn it the other way, and then pick it up and look at me. I never made eye contact, I didn't talk to her (much - occasionally I did get frustrated enough to tell her to just go to sleep already!). I held her, and rocked her, until my arms were sore, and my back hurt, and then I just kept going. I sang to her, I shushed her, I was quiet. I bounced softly. I stopped bouncing. I tried ALL the tricks. Everything I could think of, really.
This all started at 12:30, and I told myself when it was getting close to 2 that I would give up at 2 and take her in to my bed. At 2, I told myself I would keep trying until 2:30. At 2:30 I was like, fuck it, let's just go to SLEEP already, and took her in to my bed. Where she continued to fight falling asleep. She'd lay down for a few seconds or a minute, but then pick her head back up and I swear she was smiling at me (it was dark so I couldn't really see). I tried cuddling with her, nursing her, singing to her, rubbing her back, NOT doing all of those things, doing some of those things... You name it.
Around 3am, I decided maybe she was hungry. It had been around 6 hours or so since her bedtime bottle, and I realized it was only going to be harder to get her to sleep if she had an empty belly. So I carried her downstairs and made a 4 ounce bottle. On the way upstairs I decided to do her bedtime routine. I thought maybe it would somehow "reset" her if we went through her routine like it was her normal bedtime. I only read one book instead of several (the one we always end up - "Goodnight Moon"), but otherwise, it was basically the same routine. At 3am. Ridiculous, I know. And it didn't even work.
What I left out of the facebook post, was that I ended up giving Jordyn benadryl at 3:30am. Yep, mother of the year award, right here!
But I was that desperate. I didn't want to give her benadryl, and believe me, I tried absolutely everything else else before doing that, but I honestly didn't know what else to do. The only other things I could think of were either putting her in the car and driving around randomly, or putting her in the car and driving to my parents' house and waking my dad up if we got all the way there and she was still awake. He's always telling me to wake him up, like in the morning after we sleep there if she's up early and I need more sleep since I worked late and went to sleep late. So I almost DROVE there to wake him up to ask for help. I was *THAT* desperate. But just the thought of getting Jordyn all the way downstairs and into the car was enough to make me cry, and honestly, I didn't think I should be driving after being awake for 21 hours.
So, benadryl it was. And you know what? She *FINALLY* fell asleep at 4:15, I stood there for five solid minutes to make sure it stuck before going to sleep myself (and it actually took me a while to fall asleep), and then she woke up at 7:10. Yep, less than 3 hours after a full dose of benadryl! WTF?? I brought her into my bed and nursed her, and she fell back to sleep pretty quickly until 8:45. But during that stretch, I had a bad dream. I dreamt that Jordyn (who was a boy in my dream, I think), was acting really weird and "off", and I just *knew* that something was wrong with her, but no one would believe me. I think I thought she was blind. It was that mother's intuition thing, where I just *knew* something was not right, but no one believed me, and I couldn't get them to. Lovely.
When she woke up at 8:45, it was like the whole being-awake-all-night thing had never happened. She was totally fine - happy and ready to start the day. I was neither of those things!! I got her to nap from 12-1:15pm, and I napped then, too. When she napped later, I lay down for about 25 minutes, but then my sister called and woke me up, and I had to get up in a few minutes anyway to start getting ready for mom's night (dinner) out, during which my sister was babysitting. So, at least I was able to get out tonight and have a little break, but boy... What a night! And tonight's report from my sister was that she fought sleep for a long time, too, and that none of her usual tricks (she babysits for lots of families) worked.
Jordyn's also been very clingy lately, and has separation anxiety. She screamed when I left for work yesterday, and she screamed when I left for dinner tonight. Plus the sleep issue. According to "Wonder Weeks" she's in a leap right now. I don't know if that's what this phase is or not, but it SUCKS. I hope it's very short-lived.
Last night was one of the very few - I could probably count them on one hand - times so far that I really, truly wished I had a partner, or a helper of some sort, who could take over for part of those four hours. I needed help, I needed a break, and I didn't have either. I really hope those moments continue to be few and far between.
What I left out of the facebook post, was that I ended up giving Jordyn benadryl at 3:30am. Yep, mother of the year award, right here!
But I was that desperate. I didn't want to give her benadryl, and believe me, I tried absolutely everything else else before doing that, but I honestly didn't know what else to do. The only other things I could think of were either putting her in the car and driving around randomly, or putting her in the car and driving to my parents' house and waking my dad up if we got all the way there and she was still awake. He's always telling me to wake him up, like in the morning after we sleep there if she's up early and I need more sleep since I worked late and went to sleep late. So I almost DROVE there to wake him up to ask for help. I was *THAT* desperate. But just the thought of getting Jordyn all the way downstairs and into the car was enough to make me cry, and honestly, I didn't think I should be driving after being awake for 21 hours.
So, benadryl it was. And you know what? She *FINALLY* fell asleep at 4:15, I stood there for five solid minutes to make sure it stuck before going to sleep myself (and it actually took me a while to fall asleep), and then she woke up at 7:10. Yep, less than 3 hours after a full dose of benadryl! WTF?? I brought her into my bed and nursed her, and she fell back to sleep pretty quickly until 8:45. But during that stretch, I had a bad dream. I dreamt that Jordyn (who was a boy in my dream, I think), was acting really weird and "off", and I just *knew* that something was wrong with her, but no one would believe me. I think I thought she was blind. It was that mother's intuition thing, where I just *knew* something was not right, but no one believed me, and I couldn't get them to. Lovely.
When she woke up at 8:45, it was like the whole being-awake-all-night thing had never happened. She was totally fine - happy and ready to start the day. I was neither of those things!! I got her to nap from 12-1:15pm, and I napped then, too. When she napped later, I lay down for about 25 minutes, but then my sister called and woke me up, and I had to get up in a few minutes anyway to start getting ready for mom's night (dinner) out, during which my sister was babysitting. So, at least I was able to get out tonight and have a little break, but boy... What a night! And tonight's report from my sister was that she fought sleep for a long time, too, and that none of her usual tricks (she babysits for lots of families) worked.
Jordyn's also been very clingy lately, and has separation anxiety. She screamed when I left for work yesterday, and she screamed when I left for dinner tonight. Plus the sleep issue. According to "Wonder Weeks" she's in a leap right now. I don't know if that's what this phase is or not, but it SUCKS. I hope it's very short-lived.
Last night was one of the very few - I could probably count them on one hand - times so far that I really, truly wished I had a partner, or a helper of some sort, who could take over for part of those four hours. I needed help, I needed a break, and I didn't have either. I really hope those moments continue to be few and far between.
Oy, what an ordeal! I've had just a handful of those "I wish I had a partner" moments, too, and they are very unpleasant. Thankfully they are very rare! I hope last night's events are just an odd one-time-only unexplained thing!
ReplyDeleteWe have had a night just like that, only it happened while out of town in a hotel. I almost called my parents at 3 am because I just didn't know if I could handle the frustration much longer. I think I got maybe a total of 3 hours of broken sleep that night, and we left for home first thing in the morning...turned out he had an ear infection. I even sort of yelled at him for a split second at one point that night, if I had had benedryl I would have used it. Don't feel bad, if that is the only way she would sleep, then it was the right choice. I hope she gets back on track soon.
ReplyDeleteThat sucks!!!! That sounds like a horrible night. My son decided to have a party in his crib one night, and I was about ready to lose my mind because I needed sleep so badly! I caved and brought him in my bed (I never do that!), and he just stroked my face, laughed, and kicked his legs. Ugh! It made for a really messed up couple of days. Hope she gets back on schedule!
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