But seriously, the nausea. It waxed and waned a little, but mostly waxed. And I didn't feel like eating much, but I knew I had to, so I did. And it did kinda make me feel a little better when I ate, but that didn't last long. No vomiting, so I guess I should be happy about that. But the nausea... and not being able to really DO anything to make it GO AWAY... Ugh.
Oh, and did I mention all this was while I was at work for 12 hours?!?
And yes, I know about saltines, and ginger, and not letting your stomach get too empty, blah, blah, blah. If it helps, it's shortlived, and then the whole thing starts all over again. Holy shit. This baby better stick and be nice and healthy, as it's killing me already!!!
And I was SO tired. And I actually slept pretty well last night (went to sleep around 11:15, work up around 12:15 to pee, but then slept til about 8, when I woke up to pee again, then tried to sleep more, but couldn't fall back to sleep).
The thing that seems to help the nausea is to stay still. And the thing that seems to aggravate it is to move around. And of course I have a job that requires me to be on my feet much of the day, walking, standing, leaning, etc. And... being nice to people. Which I was SO not in the mood for today!
And then, I got home from work... FINALLY... and found that my dog had taken a shit in my bedroom closet (it's a walk-in, and carpeted). I hadn't seen her since last Wednesday morning, as I'd worked two long days, been out of town, and then worked another long day today, so her doggie daycare guy had boarded her until tonight. I was so happy to see her when I got home, and she to see me. I gave her a nice belly rub, and then went upstairs to change, which is when I (first smelled, and then) found the pile of shit.
I could've killed her. I called her, and had to come downstairs and make her go upstairs so I could discipline her (don't worry, I just put her nose close to it, hit it lightly with a rolled up paper, and tell her no! - NO animal cruelty, I promise! I love my dog!). She ran around to the far side of my bed (knowing what was coming), and when I came to get her, she peed a little on the floor.
Are you fucking kidding me?! It's almost 1am, I'm exhausted, really nauseous, not in the greatest mood, and now I have to clean up a huge pile of dog shit... and pee?? I cleaned up most of it and sprayed the area with the stuff that's supposed to get the stains and odor out of the carpet, and then went into the bathroom to get ready for bed while it did it's thing.
And had a huge cry-fest. I just totally lost it. Sat on the toilet seat, leaned on the counter, and bawled my eyes out. I don't remember the last time I did that.
What was going through my head? First... I can't do this. What the hell am I doing? Then... Loneliness. Yep, I got hit out of absolutely nowhere with an intense feeling of loneliness. The whole, "I can't believe I'm doing this alone, I don't want to be doing this alone, how did I get here?" BS.
What was weird was, the whole time I was crying, in the back of my head was this little voice reminding me that this would pass, it was ok, this was to be expected, this is pregnancy hormones talking, tomorrow would be a better day, etc.
I sure hope so.
I hear ya, sister! The first trimester is such a mess of nausea, fear, and hormones. I was so sick those first few months I often asked myself, "what the hell did I get myself into?" But yes, I can confirm for you that it does get better, you do feel like yourself again, get your energy back, and start to enjoy the process. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIt does get better. I remember thinking how does anyone ever have more than one if this is what you have to go through. I also had crying fits in the bathroom, felt completely alone, and had to deal with a pooping and peeing dog. There will be moments throughout your entire pregnancy when you feel that way, but it gets much better in the second trimester. And just remember those feelings will pass.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that even the smell of peppermint would help me a little with the nausea (rumor has it that eating peppermint works even better). I had a few rough days, and then the nausea subsided greatly (it hits mildly and briefly at specific times of the day now). Hopefully you are just going thru a rough patch that is short lived.
ReplyDeleteAlso, one of my dogs went through a weird submissive pee/odd behavior thing for a few weeks. I'm happy to report he is pretty much back to his happy (and dumb) self at this point. Both of mine were certainly aware of my change of hormones. Try a lot of over-the-top positive attention.
Hope you feel better soon!
It will pass & it all is so worth it, I promise. I'm so sorry you had such a rotten day. Take care & go easy on yourself.
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