Showing???... or Just Fat?

I'm wearing a bella.band today for the first time. You know, one of those stretchy things that lets you keep wearing your non-maternity/pre-pregnancy pants past when they won't close all the way, but before you need maternity pants. It could just be that these pants shrunk a little, or hadn't been fitting for a while, having nothing to do with the pregnancy... I honest don't remember. But they matched the shirt I wanted to wear, so I pulled out the bella.band.

I'm also wearing a shirt that's loose-fitting and sort of flowy, to try to hide my belly. It's not a maternity shirt, but it's a new shirt I got shopping on Sunday. I went shopping (only because it was my birthday, not because I actually felt like getting off the couch!) specifically looking for that type of shirt... because I haven't told everyone (although I've told some people) about being pregnant, and I don't want it to be obvious (or even questionable) before I'm ready for it to be.

And I think it may be starting to be obvious.

But is that normal?? At only 12 weeks for a first singleton pregnancy? I didn't really think so, but that seems to be what's happening. I mean, the kid is only like 2.5 inches long, if that. And it's SO low, right above hairline low. So am I just fat? Or bloated? Or is this the waist "thickening" that the books talk about?

I don't know. But I will say that I don't like it. I'm absolutely FINE - more than fine - with a baby belly! I'm kind of weirdly excited for that, actually. I think maybe because I've long had a little belly that I've always tried to hide (never had this much trouble before, though!), and I'm excited about having a belly that I don't have to hide! Because it's supposed to be there! But I don't think this is it. I think this is just the baby pushing all my fat out so that it's more obvious. Or something like that.

Plus, I'm not officially "out" about being pregnant. I don't want people thinking maybe I am, but not want to ask because I could easily just be fat! Ugh. I'm just waiting for the official results of the ultrasound/nuchal translucency test, and then I'm going to go public. And then I'll be ok with "showing", if that's even what this is. But for now, I don't like having to try to hide it, and having to be so secretive.

And it doesn't help that the other pregnant woman in my department is tall, very thin, and has only a baby belly - not an extra ounce anywhere else. One of those people who from behind doesn't look the slightest bit pregnant. Someone said to her today that she could wear the outfit she's wearing today even after the baby is born, and she said, "Oh, this isn't maternity clothes." And she's 30 weeks! At least we're not side-by-side too often. :)