It's Getting Kinda Scary...

Last night at work, I had a brief period of lightheadedness. I have no idea why. I was even sitting down at the time, and had been sitting for maybe 45 minutes or so. My face got hot and I got lightheaded, just for a few seconds. One of the nurses took my blood pressure, which was 110/56. She said the 56 was just slightly low, but isn't it in the normal range for pregnancy? I think it is, since your blood pressure can be lower than usual in the first two trimesters. I think. Anyway, she told me to drink something, which I did. But I really felt like I'd hydrated pretty well yesterday, so I have no idea what that was about. And then I just felt kind of "off" and my legs felt a little jelly-like. Same thing this morning, but then the rest of the day has been fine. I thought maybe I was anemic, or that maybe it had something to do with gestational diabetes (which I haven't been tested for yet, but I have my 1-hour glucose tolerance test next week). I finally decided I just hadn't eaten enough, and after I ate a full meal today, I was good to go.

But it got me thinking about how alone I am, and how alone I'd be if something were to happen pregnancy-wise right now, since my parents aren't up here yet. What if I go into premature labor? My parents wouldn't make it for the birth, most likely. And I haven't gotten a doula hired, so I'd have NO ONE to be in the delivery room with me except for the nurse and the midwife (my sister has offered to be in the delivery room with me whenever I end up delivering, but I'm not interested in taking that course of action!). Who would help me if I got put on bedrest? Who would come to my house and gather and then bring me the things I needed if I went into labor while at work and had to go directly to the hospital? Who would be there - physically be there - for emotional support if something bad happened to me or the baby? I'm sure my sister would help, and I have a couple of friends who'd likely help if needed, but still... I'd feel really alone. The silly little episode of lightheadedness last night just got all kinds of crazy thoughts started in my head!

And today, I took what felt like a big step, for some reason - I ordered a crib and a glider for the nursery! That was scary, too, in a way. I guess just because it was such a big purchase, and it felt like such big decisions about which ones to get. The glider was easier than the crib, because there were only so many choices that came in the color I want (white) without it being special order, which I didn't want to do. And I needed a smaller one to fit in my small nursery. I got a white one with sage green cushions, and I really like it. But the crib... I've been checking out and researching cribs for a while now (the Baby Bargains book has been incredibly helpful!). It was kind of stressful, but I'm happy with my choice, and I'm excited to finally be getting started on putting the nursery together. Hopefully they will be delivered before my parents visit in a couple of weeks, so my dad and I can put them together while they're here. I think it'll be nice to spend time with my dad getting the nursery at least partly ready. My mom's coming to a childbirth class with me that weekend, and then to my shower (which my dad's invited to but probably won't come), so it's nice to have a way to involve my dad in things.

And lastly, my ticker is at 97 days... I'm officially in the two-digits! Yikes! I really need to start checking things off my to-do list at a more rapid pace...