My Gut Has Spoken

I'm pretty sure I've made a decision about where to send Jordyn for child care. And if you read my last post on the subject, it's probably not what you think. For that matter, it's not what *I* thought it was going to be!

But my gut has spoken.

And so I shall listen.

We went back to visit the center again today. And I decided that while I still like the director ok, I don't like her as much as I did the first time. This is probably due at least in part to what the mom who I spoke to told me about her. Remember the mom who emailed me saying her son doesn't like to leave at the end of the day? Well, I spoke with her on the phone, and she told me this whole thing about the current director of the center that isn't so positive. Apparently, when she came on the scene two years ago, she immediately started making unilateral decisions without discussing anything with the teachers or taking their opinions into account. She apparently has a "my way or the highway" type of personality, isn't super sensitive or a warm and fuzzy type of person, and just has some difficulties with interpersonal relationships. So, when she came in and started making all these changes, there was a pretty big mass exodus of teachers. That said, there are still several teachers there who have significant longevity - 13 years, 17 years, 20+ years, etc. But a bunch left because they didn't like the new director's style, and the overall moral went downhill - which parents noticed and were worried it would trickle down to the kids. A bunch of the parents got together and talked to the director about it (this mom I spoke to being one of them), and things have now improved. So the positive spin on this is that things *have* improved, and I don't think things are nearly as bad as they were two years ago. But still. My thoughts on the center were sort of tainted by hearing this whole thing.

My other issue with the center is that the room Jordyn would be in only has two other kids in it right now, both younger than her. And other than a 9 or 10 month old in the infant room who's almost walking and will transition in in a couple of months, there's no way to know if/when the numbers will grow and Jordyn would truly be in a group setting with similar-age peers, with at least a couple being slightly older than her (which is what I'd like for her). Since one of the kids in the room doesn't come on Fridays, the one kid in the room today was in the infant room. I'd told the director my interest in seeing and hearing more about the older classrooms since my hope was that Jordyn would eventually be in them, so she had us hang out for a while in the older toddler room. This room is for kids from about 19-20 months up to 2.9 years, when they transition into the combined preschool/pre-K room. Jordyn did GREAT in there! She went right into the group, sat on one of the teacher's laps, played with the toys and musical instruments, danced when they put music on, etc. If she could start in that room, I'd be much more willing to enroll her there. But then we went to check out the infant room, and Jordyn was bored. After a couple of minutes, she walked up the gate in the doorway, looked at me, and said "eh", which basically means "let's go". She'd be spending some time in that room, too, since the infants and young toddlers start the day in there together from about 7-9am, since there aren't enough kids until later in the morning to split into the separate rooms. I just don't think she'd be happy until she transitioned into the older toddler room in 4-5 months.

Meanwhile... Jordyn and I met my mom for lunch today. I told her about our visit to the center and my conversation with the mom about the director. I also told her about the one home daycare that's been standing out in my mind. I had kind of been wanting to stop by there unannounced, to get a second look at the place, and to see it when they weren't expecting a visitor. I asked my mom if she'd want to see it, and then the story could be that we'd met for lunch nearby and discussed the options, and that my mom said she wanted to see it, so we stopped by. And so we did. It was naptime, though, so the lights were off and all the kids were sleeping, so my mom didn't really get a good look. She did get to see the outside area, though, and talk to the main caregiver, who she agreed was nice and seemed like she'd be good.

I came home and called two references for the home daycare. The caregiver had given me two lists of people I could call - all the current kids' parents as well as a list of some former kids she's cared for. I called two of the current kids' moms, both of whom *raved* about the daycare, the caregiver, how much of a warm and loving place it is, how happy and content their kids seem there, how convenient it is not to have to worry about packing food, how calming and motherly the caregiver is, how she "knows C as much as I know her", how attentive she is to the kids and their parents, etc. etc. etc. One of the moms said she was referred there by a colleague whose two sons both went there for years and how well-adjusted they are. This is in addition to my friend from Camp Sunshine whose son goes there, and she'd told me much of the same. Very hard to ignore that kind of feedback, with really nothing negative said at all, even when I asked!

The home daycare costs approximately $2300 less per year than the center, AND it provides two meals and two snacks each day. And it's just as physically convenient than the center, possibly even more so. It's maybe a three minute drive from my house, if that.

And the real kicker? A realization I had about how I'm making decisions... I decided to change jobs to a part-time one that allows for regular days and hours to bring more consistency to Jordyn and my lives, and to enable me to still spend a good deal of time with her while she's young. I'll be making less money combined with a ridiculously huge jump in what I pay for benefits. But I did this with the motto "carpe diem". She's only young once,  you have to make the most of it, and make every day count because you never know how many more you have. So... seize the day. I can always make changes to my job later when she's older, in school full time, etc. But for now, I'm looking at NOW, at what's best for us NOW.

So then I was going to make a child care decision based on *longevity*??? That makes absolutely no sense! That's the complete opposite of "carpe diem"! I was going to choose a center over a home daycare for the reason that Jordyn could move up into the different rooms as she got older, and stay in one place until kindergarten. But how does that match up with seize the day?! Easy - it doesn't!!

Plus, I want to move, ideally in the next year or two. The thought of actually moving makes me nauseous, but I really want and need to do it. So eventually, that's the plan, and any child care place she's in now could become very inconvenient depending where we move (possibly a town or two over, not long-distance, but still). So the whole longevity theory has been blown wide open.

My gut says the home daycare is the way to go. For now. I'll reevaluate in a year or two. And who knows, maybe there'll be a sibling to add into the equation by then! Or maybe on the way? But, I digress. I really *wanted* to like the center best, but I think if I'm being honest, I didn't. At least not for now. I won't burn bridges with the center, because who knows, I may eventually want to try to get Jordyn into the preschool/pre-K class. So I'll email the director and explain my hesitancy with the young toddler room being so small right now, but that I may well contact her again when Jordyn is older.

I'm going to sleep on it, and since it's the weekend now, I really have until Monday to make the final decision. I want to get moving on this, though, so I can start the ball rolling on getting Jordyn transitioned in to her new "home away from home" within the next couple of weeks. But my gut is telling me that Jordyn would do very well in the home daycare, and I think it's the right place for her.

For now. Carpe diem!