Sleep Success-ish

Ok. So here's what happened...

Sunday night, Jordyn went to sleep around 8:30-8:45 or so. She fell asleep on the bottle, didn't wake up when I burped her, and easily transferred to her crib after a few minutes. I walked out of her room thinking, "That was way too easy...", but also kind of thinking maybe it would be a good night.

Ha.

I got into bed at 10:00 or 10:05, and I may have *just* fallen asleep when Jordyn woke up and starting crying at 10:28. I gave her a few minutes to see if she'd go back to sleep on her own, but no, she was escalating. I went in her room around 10:35, picked her up, and she *immediately* stopped screaming. She fell back to sleep pretty quickly in my arms, but when I tried to transfer her back to her bed, she popped her eyes open and started to cry.

And in that moment, just like that, I knew I couldn't pick her back up. I just knew I couldn't - and wouldn't - and shouldn't - play that game all night. The fall-asleep-in-my-arms-put-her-down-she-wakes-up-immediately-and-cries game. No. Fucking. Way. I was just DONE. It was completely unplanned, unprepared for, unresearched, and completely spontaneous, but I decided to... (drumroll please)... sleep train! In my very own, very random, very made-up-on-the-spot way!

So here's what I did...

I leaned over her crib and rocked her, patted her, rubbed her, shushed her, sang to her... everything but pick her up. I just decided that she was going to fall asleep in her crib without being held - and that was going to be step one. I still haven't figured anything out beyond that. But if it was the last thing I did, she was going to fall asleep in her crib!

She went from screaming bloody murder to just crying. Several times, she calmed down completely, turned her head to the side, and started to fall asleep. I could tell because her breathing changed and she relaxed at least somewhat. I kept doing what I was doing, but then she'd all of a sudden wake back up and start to cry again. So frustrating! I couldn't tell if she was fighting sleep, or sleep was fighting her. What I mean is, was she starting to fall asleep, and then she fought it off and woke herself back up, or was she wanting to sleep, but something organic was waking her up (i.e. teething pain, being congested, etc.)? A few times, when she was pretty calm but still awake, I walked out of the room. I thought, even better if she falls asleep in her crib without me there. But she always started to cry again, scream really, and I went back in and resumed the soothing routine.

At one point I started to cry. I was so frustrated! I wanted to give up, but I knew I couldn't. The longer this went on, the more I knew I couldn't give in and pick her up, because that sends the totally wrong message. That teaches her to keep it up, and eventually it'll work! No way. I was NOT going to give in - I was going to win this battle!

Eventually I looked at the clock, and it was 11:41. It had been over an hour. I decided then that if she was still not asleep by midnight, I was going to have to change it up. I wasn't exactly sure what plan B was going to be, but if she was still awake after an hour-and-a-half, I was going to deem this a failure and do something else (probably admit defeat and take her into bed with me). I kept up the soothing, but at the same time, trying to figure out what to do if midnight came around and she was still awake.

But guess what?!? At 11:55 she fell asleep. And stayed asleep. I kept up the patting and shushing for five more minutes to be sure, but she was FINALLY asleep!!!

I got in bed, totally exhausted, sore from leaning over her crib for an hour and a half (my lower back is still KILLING me three days later), but feeling SO GOOD - because it had worked! It had actually worked. She had actually fallen asleep in her crib, and not in my arms! I'd won the battle!!!

Five minutes later, she cried. I felt SO defeated. Seriously? Five minutes is all I get after an hour and a freakin' half?! But... she quickly fell back to sleep, and I never got out of bed. Yay!

She slept til 6:50, at which point I brought her into bed with me (which is our usual morning routine), and we both fell back to sleep from about 7 to almost 9! Score!

9:00 is late for her to sleep til, though, so then Monday we were all off schedule. Not that she has a "schedule", exactly, but sort of a rough outline of how things generally go, at least in terms of when she gets bottles. And NOT that I'm complaining!! We were at a playdate at my friend's house Monday afternoon, and ended up staying way past when I was planning to leave. Jordyn fell asleep in my arms at 5:30, and I figured she'd do her usual thing and sleep for 30 minutes. But she slept for almost 2 hours! She woke up at 7:20. Hmmm... That completely confused me as to what to do about bedtime. But basically we just pushed it later (I think it was 9:30-10:00), and it was fine. Plus, she woke up from the nap really happy and in a good mood, so that was great.

Monday night, I think she fell asleep on the bottle originally, but woke up when I tried to transfer her into the crib. Either that, or she was never totally asleep in the first place. But either way, she started to cry as soon as I put her down. And I didn't pick her back up. I just rolled her slightly onto her side towards me, so I could reach to pat her tush, and sang or shushed her... And she immediately quieted, turned her head to the side, and went to sleep! I slowly stopped patting, rolled her back down onto her back, stopped singing/shushing, and backed away. I mean, it took maybe five minutes, definitely less than ten!

I was SO excited! It worked! An hour-and-a-half the first night, and less than ten minutes the second night! Could it really be that "easy"?? I do think I heard her cry very briefly a couple of times that night, but she quickly fell back to sleep and I never got out of bed. I think she slept til a few minutes after 7 Tuesday morning, and then fell back to sleep for a little while with nursing in bed with me.

Tuesday I worked until midnight, so bedtime was with my parents at their house. My mom put her to sleep, and said she fell half asleep on the bottle, and then fully asleep in her arms as she was burping her. She transferred easily into the crib (this was around 8:30), and she woke up at 5:00. That was way too early, as I went to sleep at 1:00. I gave her a few minutes to see if she'd go back to sleep, but she didn't. I then spent 30 minutes leaning over the crib trying to soothe her back to sleep, but it was futile as she never even started to fall asleep, although she was definitely still tired. I finally gave up and decided to treat it like it was time to be up for the day - take her out of the sleepsuit, change her diaper, and bring her into my bed. She then nursed to sleep and we slept from 6-8. When I then figured we were up for the day and switched to nurse the other side, we fell back to sleep until 8:50!

Today, she napped from 4:30-5:30, so I thought bedtime would be around 8:30 or so, which is about average for her. But she was showing tired signed much earlier, so I took her up for a bath at 6:45. I'm wondering if maybe I've been trying to keep her up too late (to fit more into my routine of up late, sleep late because of my work schedule), and maybe she'd sleep better if I put her to sleep earlier (and tried to catch that magic "window" everyone talks about, when getting her to sleep would supposedly be easier). She didn't fall asleep on the bottle, so I rocked her for a little while to try to get her to that "drowsy but awake" stage. She never really seemed to get all that drowsy, but I eventually put her in the crib. She stayed quiet, so I said goodnight and walked out of the room (What the hell, right? You never know - maybe she'd just go to sleep all on her own!). She of course started to cry about a minute later, so I went in and did the soothing routine. It took her maybe 5-7 minutes to fall asleep, at about 8:10.

We'll see how long she sleeps tonight, but I'm feeling SO much better about things. I know she can sleep longer and later than she is right now, but at least we're not up for 2 hours in the middle of the night every night! And I'm really trying to resolve to NOT stress about the sleep thing. I mean, as long as I'm getting enough of it! Things keep changing, so it's not like just because things are one way now, they'll continue that way forever. I should know - I got SO spoiled with her sleeping through the night so well for so long, that this new sleep stuff was a real rude awaking. I do think (and hope!) we're heading back the right direction now, though.


2/1/13 - Edited to Add: Jordyn has slept almost 11 hours the past two nights! YIPPEE!!!!!