I Know What You're All Thinking...

... That since I didn't post at all yesterday, I must have gone into labor and be busy at the hospital having and bonding with my baby!

And... you'd all be wrong, of course.

I was just busy and around too many people to be able to post on a private blog that none of them know about.

My mom spent the night again on Saturday night, and we spent the first part of yesterday hanging around my house. We got some things done, though, so that's good. We cleared out some space in one of my kitchen cabinets to make room for baby stuff, which has been on my to-do list for quite a while. We also moved around some decorative items, chose some to get rid of, found a few things that look really good on the newly-hung shelves in the nursery, and just made things look a little bit more put-together around here. I also got a load of laundry done.

And then we went back out to my parents' house, where everyone was gathered for swimming, hanging out, and dinner. It was... ok. Mostly fine, but occasionally someone made a "joke" about the baby not being here, and it was just NOT funny. Not even a little bit. I'm sorry, I know people are just kidding around, trying to lighten the mood, trying to make me feel better, whatever. But I'm just finding it impossible to find anything even remotely funny when it comes to this whole Baby Watch 2012/feeling like a watched pot thing. I don't mind if someone wants to talk about the baby or pregnancy, ask me about it, etc. My 19-year-old male cousin was curious about things like how due dates are calculated, do they ever change them when you go past due, etc., and that was completely fine. But the "jokes"... not so much! I guess I just have no sense of humor about it, and I can't help it!

My aunt and dad drove me home around 9:00pm, and came in to hang out for a little while. My aunt hadn't seen my place, so I gave her a tour, we chatted for a little while, and then my dad actually asked me, "What are your plans for tomorrow?". HA! He had actually momentarily forgotten about Baby Watch 2012, apparently! They tried to get me to say I'd come out to my parents' house again today if I wasn't in labor, and I tried to explain that I wasn't really comfortable being out there, and didn't want to go into labor there. My aunt - who has no children - tried to explain that it doesn't come on suddenly, I could always leave once it started, etc. - and I started to kind of tear up, and just asked that we not talk about it. She eventually said I should just do what works best for me... Really? Is THAT what I should do?!

My mom had decided not to sleep over at my house last night, with the theory that if she wasn't here, maybe I'd actually go into labor.

That theory obviously did not prove to be true.

She knows she's more than welcome to stay here, and also more than welcome not to. She knows I'll call if and when I need her if she's not here.

Is there a difference between red raspberry tea and red raspberry LEAF tea? My mom could only find the former when she got it for me the other day. I had a big glass of it today, and also sat, bounced, and rocked on the exercise ball again. Nothing.

*Warning - TMI in this paragraph!... I've been having on-and-off (but not at regular intervals) crampiness and lower back pain for the past few days, and I think I lost a good amount of muc.ous plug over Saturday night - thick, goopy yellowish stuff on the tp when I wiped after peeing. Yesterday evening my doula called to check in, and asked if I'd been pooping a lot, which I hadn't been. But then I did poop later last night, and then again this morning, which was pretty loose. I've been only pooping once a day, in the morning, and it's never been as loose as it was today. Yesterday the baby was going absolutely CRAZY. I had taken suda.fed, which I'm pretty sure is what had her all hyped up. So I had a ton of pressure and pain very low, and I swear her head has to have moved down from the -1 station she was at on Wednesday. Hopefully I'll find out soon, either by going into labor and getting checked when I get to the hospital (first choice!), or at my appointment tomorrow for a bio.physical profile and non-st.ress test (which if you remember, my midwife said I would very likely end up not needing, because I wouldn't still be pregnant by tomorrow!). I'm hoping they can do a cer.vical check at that appointment, too. And maybe another membr.ane sweep?!?

And now I have to decide if I want to go back out to my parents' house. I'll admit I'm pretty bored sitting around my house. It's still too hot to walk outside. There are things I could do here, but I just don't feel like it. Having people around is kinda nice, sometimes, and my dog is there. But I wonder if I'm not going into labor when I'm there because I don't want to, you know, that whole mind-body connection? But then again, I'm not going into labor when I'm home, either, so does it really matter? I'm thinking that it's just going to happen whenever and wherever it's going to happen... If it ever happens!!!

Here's a link to a nice article about the end of pregnancy, waiting to give birth, and remembering to live in the moment... I'm trying so hard to do that right now!
http://mothering.com/all-things-mothering/pregnancy-birth/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between




P.S. WTF is with the baby widget starting to count UP? Why can't it go into negative numbers or something, so that it remains accurate?! It currently looks like I have 4 days to go until my due date, and I most certainly do NOT!