Calm Before the Storm??

I'm going to do a HPT (ok, who am I kidding... 3 different brands of HPTs) with tomorrow's FMU. And it's almost 11:30pm.

And I'm strangely very calm.

Maybe because no matter what I try to "tell" it, my mind is convinced that I'm pregnant. If I'm not, it's gonna be quite the emotional letdown, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid as much as possible. :( And even if tomorrow's tests are negative, it's only going to be 10dpiui, so there would still be a (small) chance I'm pregnant and the tests just aren't positive yet.

But my mind is saying, "You're breasts are killing you, you're exhausted, you're having weird cramp-ish things, mild heartburn, and you can't sleep. You're pregnant, dumbass."

As you can probably tell, I'm having arguments with myself. It's like the angel on one shoulder, devil on the other. Each telling me the opposite thing. And so my head is kind of spinning, but mostly just listening to the devil, I guess, because the angel would probably be helping me out with not getting my hopes up!

But still, I'm kind of strangely calm.

Maybe it's intuition telling me I'm pregnant, and not the devil? I've heard that can happen, that intuition is the most reliable "symptom".

Or maybe it's just that deep down, I know this is only try #1, and SO many people need many, many tries to get pregnant, so I can't really complain if this doesn't work?

Who knows. Hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep tonight, and I'll keep you updated!